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thoughtsnips
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
 
Hey Folks (if there are any out there!)

I was reading some quotes teday - and came across a hilarious bunch on Religion and God... being a theist myself, it could only be politically correct for me reproduce them here! :)

Which is it, is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's?
- Friedrich Nietzsche

You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.
- Yassar Arafat, on going to war over religion

As with the Christian religion, the worst advertisement for Socialism is its adherents.
- George Orwell

God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.

God always has another custard pie up His sleeve.
- Lynn Redgrave

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- Woody Allen

Religion is a defense against the experience of God.
- Carl Jung

Organized religion: The world's largest pyramid scheme.
- Bernard Katz

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
- Voltaire
The biblical account of Noah's Ark and the Flood is perhaps the most implausible story for fundamentalists to defend. Where, for example, while loading his ark, did Noah find penguins and polar bears in Palestine?
- Judith Hayes

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
- Emo Philips

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
- Lily Tomlin

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that pisses me off.
- Stephen King

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
- George Deacon

Religion is the fashionable substitute for belief.
- Oscar Wilde

The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists - that is why they invented hell.
- Bertrand Russell

I sometimes think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
- Oscar Wilde

Isn't it crazy with all these church scandals? I'm beginning to understand how all those Bibles ended up in hotel rooms.
- Jay Leno
If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
- Mark Twain


And, as to those folks who claim that this nation was founded by folks "Under God", here's a sample of what the founders thought!
The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason.
- Benjamin Franklin

What is it the Bible teaches us? - rapine, cruelty, and murder. What is it the Testament teaches us? - to believe that the Almighty committed debauchery with a woman engaged to be married, and the belief of this debauchery is called faith.
- Thomas Paine

So long!

--R




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